dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
