I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
