Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
