And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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