Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
