so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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