did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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