have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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