he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
