i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
