Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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