Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
