Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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