College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
