I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
