i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
