I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We have started to decorate penises.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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