SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
They took my balls.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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