Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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