How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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