he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
