My hand turned me down
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
