You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
