You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The air taste purple.
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