What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
