It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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