Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
