So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
