do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
