i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
