bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
