she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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