Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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