giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
