My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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