Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Drunk is a universal language darling
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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