That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How external is "for external use only"?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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