look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize