You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
