the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
