Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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