Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
