She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
