So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My bed smells like the plague
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