I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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