Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
