your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
