i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
