Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
