If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
