so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
