Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
