he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
