toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he puts the penis in happiness.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
