i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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