Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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