He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
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I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
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I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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