we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
